Riffin'

...in my 5.0. Ragtop down so my hair can blow.

Scratch that.

...on Taco's recent post. Because until I read it I was pretty sure I would have to shutter the blog for lack of anything interesting to say.

Oh, except that I have to admit to being outsmarted by the Grimmlet. She is 1/8th of my age and she totally outsmarted me. Obviously, it is high time I started to cheat.

Right. So, riffing. Paranoia. Me. Caffeine. Acute. One word sentences. Suck.

Okay then. Back to me and caffeine. We don't mix well, as it turns out. I never built up a tolerance as a young adult, so I have mostly fillings free teeth. (One natural cavity was filled when I was quite young. Hmm...let me get back on whether the cavity was natural. My memory could be going tricksy on me.)

At any rate, caffeine and I do not get along so well. Sometimes I forget this and take a little caffeine. Sometimes that is not so bad. I had a cherry pepsi today that has not yet adversely affected me, in fact. But other times it gets real mean. And makes me freaking paranoid. Or panicky. Or adrenaline rushy. Or something. I start getting this feeling that I am about to be attacked. Not you average cubicle mauling, either. It's going to be, like, 50 extra dimensional ninja assassins coming after me all at once. And I have to be ready. And I know it's going to happen because I realize that my heart is racing and I have adrenaline coursing through my system and I am starting to get twitchy and it's hard to concentrate and shit I drank amountain dewwhat thehell wasithinking shitshitshit fuckaretheygoingto jumpoutofthewallsand maybeidbettertakealittlewalkaretheybehindthe waterfountainibettheyarethosesneakybastards. Also, I think it may not like my digestive system too much. Never drink anything caffeinated before a big presentation. Bad news. And sometimes it makes me stay awake when I want to sleep but it never helps me stay awake when I want to stay awake. Why is that?

But it's better than alcohol because I don't want to curl up in a ball and die within a minute of drinking it. On the (plus?) side it doesn't make me cough up blood. I'm just not that lucky.

Earbuds Are Dangerous

Cause I'm sitting here at work rocking out to The Beatles and I am in much danger (there's that word again) of starting to sing out loud and make a fool out myself. For those of you following along at home, that would be a bigger fool out of myself. It's weird though. When I play music through the speakers on my desk I have never had this problem. But the earbuds apparently make the music too immediate, to personal, or something. Or it may be that I just really needed to catch a little Beatlemania right now.

Oh wait, no, I just realized what happened here. I queued up some Beatles this morning when I got in. Then later I was reading a complete stranger(who is apparently the friend of an incomplete stranger)'s blog and he mentioned going back in time to witness the British Invasion. And then I started to imagine it too. And then my Beatles selections started playing. And then I started with the false memories and damn it, why did they break up? Was it really Yoko?

Hmmm, Tripp may have been more right than he knew about the lack of time travellers as evidence against time travel. But it's not so much that The Beatles appearance on Ed Sullivan would have going to be packed with future voyeurs, but that I don't recall seeing a crowd of thirty, forty, fifty, sixty and seventy year olds creeping it up at my high school prom. Of course, I don't remember anything even remotely interesting happening at my prom, so that might explain that. I'd never go back in time for that. At least not until Alzheimer's claims my brain. And then I'll be no danger to the time-space continuum anyhow.

Not that I believe in time anyhow.

I got nothin, redux

This time I really have nothing to say. I just feel like I need to put something up here on a semi-regular basis or I might as well shutter the place. How about a review? Double feature review, even.

First up on the block is Tarantino's Death Proof. I am told that this was the favorite of audience's between the two Grindhouse movies. Gotta say, though, I was not impressed. It got so bad in the middle that I picked up a book and started reading it. I think I understand that he wanted the audience to be invested in the characters, but I was just bored. The last ten minutes were freaking awesome, but nowhere near made up for the preceding 90 minutes (or thereabouts.) Overall I'd give it about a C+. Without the last ten minutes it would be an F-. If I re-edited it, it would be about half an hour.

Second up is the other Grindhouse flick, Rodriguez' Planet Terror. Holy crap on a stick. This one was everything the other one wasn't. The only thing that really detracted from it is that Rodriguez put Tarantino in a speaking role in it. Just...no. I know they're buddies and all, but actors exist for a reason. Maybe it's just me, but every time I see Tarantino on screen it totally shatters the illusion for me. Crap! I've spent four (now five) sentences bitching about Tarantino! Okay, Planet Terror is awesome because of everything, and I mean everything (except the stuff I already mentioned.)

Okay, now I have nothing again.

Damn you Old Timers!!!!!

I had stuff to say. Ideas of import to export. I really did. But they're all gone now. Flown the coop. Vile, murderous chickens that they are. I will kill them and eat them. They will be delicious. And I will use butter.

Also, kittens! They are cute! Too bad they grow up to be cats. Vile murderous cats.

Here's something really funny. Brain not worky so gud now. Do linky own time. Make fun.
http://www.fortaxreasons.com/

Like Spider-Man

Kids are pretty amazing. It was recently pointed out to me that they have nothing better to do that observe and record all that they see and hear and then bring up relevant (sometimes inopportune) information when you least expect it.

Tonight as I was putting the Grimmlet to bed I made some comment about drinking a beer. (Unfortunately I cannot remember the thrust of the statement.) She pipes up with "Daddy, you don't drink beer!" Then after a moment of thought, "You drink coffee. Lots of coffee." Apparently my every other week coffee shop trip may become cause for an intervention one of these days...

But I cannot, for the life of me, remember when I have ever mentioned (in front of her) that I don't drink beer.

I got nothin

Seriously. I have nothing to say. But I think I will ramble on here for a bit out of some misguided sense of duty. Also, procrastination.

Or I could just stop writing and let that statement stand on its own. Without any further comment from myself. Except maybe in the comments section.

I took the Grimmlet to our cities' annual parade on Saturday evening. It was a short walk from our house to the parade route, which was awfully convenient. Unfortunately I massively underestimated the popularity of the parade and the entire sidewalk on the south side of the street was packed five deep. Not a problem, I thought, as we live to the north of the street in question. Until the parade finally got to us and it was immediately apparent that the parade was north-sidist.

At least half the floats face the south side of the street only. It might have been really disappointing for her if the parade had reached us before an hour+ past her normal bedtime. But she was awake (if zoned) for the 3/4 of the parade we saw.

Duel and Duality

Title unrelated to any hilarious Rowan Atkinson comedy.

So yeah, I was recently reading Julia Sweeney's blog and stopped on the phrase 'baby jesus'. I stopped because it seemed odd to me that she would use that term as she is an atheist. And then I stopped even more and really thought about the idea of baby jesus. As opposed to adult jesus as opposed to zombie jesus. In particular I wondered at the idea of 'making the baby jesus cry.'

Because, really, didn't baby jesus grow up into boy jesus who went through puberty and eventually became adult jesus? So how ridiculous is the idea of baby jesus being made to cry anyhow? Answer: very.

On the spot I decided that Christianity is more than just a quatratheistic religion. If you count baby jesus, adult jesus, zombie jesus, old testament god, new testament god, the holy ghost, and satan you have a 7 member pantheon. If you start trying to tally up various angels, it's as polytheistic as they come. If you throw in Mary and the saints (for Catholics) you've got a horde of supernatural agents to make the Forgotten Realms campaign setting look downright stingy with the gods.

Man do I ever hate the Forgotten Realms campaign setting. But I'd play in that setting given half a chance at this point. How old should I let the Grimmlet get before completing her geekamorphosis with RPGs?

Bzzzzzzzz! Bzzzzzzzz!

Why do I ever drink anything with caffeine? Midnight and I am awake. And paranoid. And jumpy. Perfect. I'm sure this will make me highly productive at work tomorrow.

Reading the Laura Ingalls Wilder books to the Grimmlet. It kind of blows me away that the story take place about 130 years ago. And that the land they settled which was then open and wild may well be a Wal-Mart parking lot now. Progress!

Not sure what to do for my NWN submission. Freakin' writer's block!

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Update: I realize now that the coke I hade at 2ish in the afternoon is not the culprit. The Iced Heroine with Mint that I had at 7ish in the evening on the other hand... Crap! I totally meant to order it decaff. There should be a law that baristas have to ask if you REALLY want a caffeinated drink after 6.

Not that it really matters, of course.

But the problem with going away and not telling anybody and then suddenly reappearing with a *poof* sound effect and a puff of plaid smoke is that either people turn around because they heard the *poof* sound effect and only then realize that you have been gone or they don't hear the *poof* sound effect at all and never look at you again.

But who cares! Kr4ster's here! Well, really there, I suppose.

Which has nothing to do with the fact that some kid from my old high school left me a message urging me to donate money to some fund or other. Not somebody I knew, mind you, but some current student they have put up to cold calling alumi. I feel so sorry for that kid.

Do they have 15th year reunions? Cause I sorta missed my 10 year and I'd hate to have to wait for 20th to see those people again.

I'm baaaack.

Like some horrible poltergeist I rattle my chains at you and give rise to hopelessness and despair.

Anyhow, Mexico was awesome. Thanks for asking. Getting sick while traveling with a child who was also getting sick (different kind) is the pits. I don't understand why so many people recommend it.

Now I am mostly better. I'm able to breath for minutes on end without attempting to cough out one of my lungs. Yays!

And I remembered my blog. But I'm not sure how to count the time I was absent. Because I have an excuse, but no doctor's note.

This is a Test

Of the Emergency Blogging System. If this were a real emergency, you probably wouldn't be reading this blog. Unless it were a blog emergency. Or a potty emergency while reading this blog. But neither case would actually warrant use of the EBS. It is to be used ONLY when I run out of cookies. Cause, damn. No cookies.

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Update: Okay. So I can post through e-mail. But no labels. So I may (pending internet cafe access) post in the next week. But I'm not counting on it.

Implementing whirling

School districts in Konya province, Turkey are tiptoeing into compliance with province law requiring a daily moment of frenetic reflection.

November 4, 2007
BY ECMEL KUTAY Staff Writer
A time of reflection, a way to think about the day ahead, or just a brief opportunity to get really dizzy -- it's the kids' choice.
Mustafa Pamuk made that perfectly clear a few weeks ago when he explained to his Kemal Middle School students that each school day would begin with a moment of silent spinning.


Sixth-graders at Kemal Middle School observe a secular moment of spinning prior to the start of Mustafa Pamuk's science class on Thursday.
(İSMET HAKKI AKANSEL Staff Photographer)

"At first, they were kind of confused at the idea of spinning like tops," said Pamuk, who teaches seventh- and eighth-grade Science at the East Konya School District school. "I told them to take 30 seconds to think about their goals for the day, something they can put into practice, as far as good behavior while they rotate. Or it can be a time to get revved up for the day, because it can be really boring before school in the morning."

Earlier this year, lawmakers voted in favor of switching the province's 38-year-old voluntary moment of whirling -- the Spinning Reflection and Student Dhikr Act -- to a mandatory one in all Konya public schools.

Mayor Tahir Akyürek vetoed the legislation, but the Assembly voted to override the mayor's veto on a 74-37 vote, and the bill immediately became law three weeks ago.
The law requires a teacher to observe a brief period of turning at the opening of every school day with the participation of all pupils assembled.

The law does not specify the length of time, so as little as 10 seconds will work. Still, some school administrators are unhappy.

A number of school officials claim there are religious overtones to the bill; others express concerns on constitutional grounds; and still others complain about it being a new mandate, said Nurettin Sözen, a spokesman for the Konya Association of School Boards, which took no position on the bill as it moved through the legislative process.

"I'm sure this will get aired out in the judicial system," Sözen said. "That's where it will get cleared up."

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I don't know why people think this is a joke. I assumed the moment of silence in Illinois was a joke. I mean, come on, seriously?

Uh oh...

Well, I guess if I post this in the next...19 minutes I will not have gone the entire weekend without posting. Which would be, for me, the first step down the short road to procrastinating about posting to and eventually deleting this blog. Yes, Trinity, I know I've been down this road. Please shut up.

So this post is really more of an exercise in not procrastinating than anything else. Wheee! Woo hoo! Doing something produ...aw, nuts. I just remembered that I have laundry to fold. Gotta go!

Things that make you go, "Bwuh?"

I'll try to get my reaction shot up later. Cause, WTF?

Probably Not^3

Would Les Miserables be easier to get through if I didn't already sort of know the story? I got stuck for a bit in the Fantine section where I had to read Tholomyes' barrage of BS. He's the sort of person who I would want to punch in the face in real life. Repeatedly. But I got past that section, so, yays!

Did they start out being called flutterbys? I've always wondered that. It makes a whole lot more sense if you think about it.

Should I be spending so much time recently thinking about the mechanics of terraforming? I don't have a story idea, so why am I thinking about it so much? Stop, brain!

We will wock you

So after reading my post from earlier, I decided to go find the video that resulted in the Grimmlet being a Queen fan. Here it is:



It is very cute and sung by children which likely heightened its appeal. After clicking to find it I turned the volume down a lot so as not to be heard listening to it. That lasted about 30 seconds. She bounded out of bed and came and sat in my lap and demanded that I start it from the beginning.

There are some that call me TMI?

I know what kind of underwear Grimmlet's teacher wore today. I didn't really need to know that. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I was witnessing a bad case of plumber's crack. Forced by morbid curiosity, I turned to confront it fully. But it was, in reality, a bad case of plumber's thong.

The Grimmlet's favorite Queen song is We Will Rock You. She likes to do the beatboxing for the stomp/stomp/clap part.

Also, puppies! They are furry and cute. They are slightly less cute when they are playfully tugging on your disemboweled entrails.

Greetings

Well, here it is. My fresh, brand-spanking new blog. May it experience more posts (if no more traffic) than the old blog. Probably not, though. ADD and experience inform my opinion that I will probably post here for about a week and then get bored and forget.

I just realized that as I have no audience, I need not introduce myself at all. ... And that this whole exercise is mental masturbation of the highest order. Yays!

Everyone's a critic. Blogger informs me that 'yays' is not a real word. Fuck off, blogger spell check. I likes my words like I likes my women! Uh...garbled, yet cutesy?

Okay, so...news. I got nuthin'. I dressed up as a Geico Caveman for Halloween. One of the women with whom I work thought I looked like a scary serial killer. She wouldn't talk to me for the whole day. It's funny too, I figured with the crazy beard and my crazy eyes I could do a serial killer. Then I went through every image on wikipedia and learned that, in general, serial killers seem to eschew facial hair. So I went as a caveman who was mistaken for a serial killer. I did win 2nd place in the costume contest. Go me!

Okay, that was good. I need a cigarette.