Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Riffin'

...in my 5.0. Ragtop down so my hair can blow.

Scratch that.

...on Taco's recent post. Because until I read it I was pretty sure I would have to shutter the blog for lack of anything interesting to say.

Oh, except that I have to admit to being outsmarted by the Grimmlet. She is 1/8th of my age and she totally outsmarted me. Obviously, it is high time I started to cheat.

Right. So, riffing. Paranoia. Me. Caffeine. Acute. One word sentences. Suck.

Okay then. Back to me and caffeine. We don't mix well, as it turns out. I never built up a tolerance as a young adult, so I have mostly fillings free teeth. (One natural cavity was filled when I was quite young. Hmm...let me get back on whether the cavity was natural. My memory could be going tricksy on me.)

At any rate, caffeine and I do not get along so well. Sometimes I forget this and take a little caffeine. Sometimes that is not so bad. I had a cherry pepsi today that has not yet adversely affected me, in fact. But other times it gets real mean. And makes me freaking paranoid. Or panicky. Or adrenaline rushy. Or something. I start getting this feeling that I am about to be attacked. Not you average cubicle mauling, either. It's going to be, like, 50 extra dimensional ninja assassins coming after me all at once. And I have to be ready. And I know it's going to happen because I realize that my heart is racing and I have adrenaline coursing through my system and I am starting to get twitchy and it's hard to concentrate and shit I drank amountain dewwhat thehell wasithinking shitshitshit fuckaretheygoingto jumpoutofthewallsand maybeidbettertakealittlewalkaretheybehindthe waterfountainibettheyarethosesneakybastards. Also, I think it may not like my digestive system too much. Never drink anything caffeinated before a big presentation. Bad news. And sometimes it makes me stay awake when I want to sleep but it never helps me stay awake when I want to stay awake. Why is that?

But it's better than alcohol because I don't want to curl up in a ball and die within a minute of drinking it. On the (plus?) side it doesn't make me cough up blood. I'm just not that lucky.

5 comments:

suyapi said...

Yeah, it's why I used to drink so much soda. So you drink the alcohol and not puke blood for me, and I'll drink the caffeine and not become (more) paranoid for you.

Oh, but they are out to get you. They told me so.

Grimmstail said...

But the alcohol leaves me curled in the fetal position writhing in agony within a matter of minutes. I don't think this is a very good trade...

Maybe I can make the alcohol fight the caffeine by consuming them both together. They'll cancel each other out and leave me none the worse for wear! Perfect!

suyapi said...

Hey, I didn't know you and I had the same problem with the alcohol!

And yes, I read the blog, I just thought it was about me. I'm very narcissistic that way.

Actually, it's probably the world's way of telling you that you need no drug to make you more...special.

Grimmstail said...

Heh. Well, there was a specific reference to you there. I don't actually cough up blood. But I do get severe pain from drinking anything harder than beer. I've even tried some experiments where I have disguised the alcohol in other liquids. All to no avail. Ah, well. I never drank much before anyway. Though Bolg thinks I am a hilarious hungover person.

suyapi said...

I've only seen you in a sleeping bag after a campground bender, and I don't think you drank that much.